Lies, Truth, and Consequences
by Liz the Unconquerable
Summary: Nick is trying to deal with the knowledge Adalind is regaining her powers but didn't tell him. One day he comes home from work early and finds out just how traumatic the situation is for her as well, and what she is willing to do to stop it.


Nick came home from a normal day at the precinct, a decidedly abnormal occurrence, but one he would gladly accept. Their only case was of a liquor store robbery and as the thief left fingerprints behind, had a long rap sheet, and did nothing to conceal his identity he was easily caught. The rest of the day the detective simply caught up on paperwork.

The relatively calm day also ensured he did not have to deal with captain Renard, an undertaking that was getting harder and harder with the knowledge the captain was working with black claw.

Following the inugami case he'd had several days of run of the mill human cases and was both thankful and annoyed by the relative calm. Thankful because he'd had so much on his plate for the past several months, hell, the past several years, and the reprieve gave him a chance to catch his breath. And annoyed because it meant he had to think about his current situation and the cycle of anger, guilt, and something he was terrified might be love kept spinning through him.

When he learned Adalind's powers were coming back and she hadn't told him he was furious. How could she lie to him? Keep this from him? After everything that had happened with Juliette? But then he would start to think about all of the reasons Adalind had to be wary of him. They didn't exactly come into this relationship normally. He had helped to kidnap her first child and at times she seemed genuinely afraid he would take Kelly from her too. Moreover, he would remember she had spoken about the possibility of her regaining her powers with him, no doubt fishing for his reaction.

And given the way his relationship with Juliette combusted and the explosive interactions he had had with Adalind herself her fears were far more justified than Juliette's had been when she became a hexenbiest. Juliette really had no reason to keep it from him or think he would hate her for it. He had asked her to accept him as a Grimm after all. But Juliette had just unilaterally decided to give up and embrace the destruction her new powers allowed her. She barely showed any emotions toward him at all, as if he was now insignificant. Anger the only exception; both for being the inciting incident behind her transformation and for protecting Adalind.

Maybe there was more going on in her head, but she made no attempt to reveal it. Nick had spent night after night looking for her, attempting to contact her in some way, wrestling with his own thoughts and feelings, but Juliette didn't seem to care that she walked out of their relationship. Nick felt that if he had actually been given the chance to come to grips with the change he could have accepted her. But she didn't give him the chance.

He just wished Adalind would give him that chance. Because simmering deep inside throughout all of these confused feelings was the ever-growing love for the blonde, and that was the most disconcerting thing of all.

Especially as he was beginning to believe that while he could have accepted Juliette and continued a relationship with her that didn't make it the right thing to do; that perhaps they were too fundamentally different for their romance to be beneficial. But that maybe underneath it all he and Adalind were far more alike than he had ever wanted to admit, and this connection would prove stronger. Only to be submerged by guilt for these thoughts once again.

So Nick both was and was not looking forward to coming home early from work.

But when Nick heard Kelly crying along with gasps, thumps, and retching on the way up to the loft he was nearly out of his mind with terror. He hurled the door up and catapulted into the loft gun ready. Quickly ascertaining there was no enemy in his home the reality did nothing to alleviate his panic. Kelly was crying in his crib but seemed to be safe, only distressed by his mother's condition. Adalind on the other hand was crawling on the floor toward the cradle through her own sick, vomit all over her front, blood on her hands, and both substances on her face. She couldn't move much in between gasping for breath, vomiting, and clutching at her stomach. Tears of pain and desperation running down her face.

"Adalind!" he shouted. Sprinting toward her. Picking the blonde up she waved him off, motioning toward the crib and it's screaming occupant. Nick looked down into the crib to check on their son but the baby appeared perfectly fine. "Get Kelly, I'll be fine." "You are not fine!" Nick insisted, lifting the woman into his arms and heading toward the bathroom. "Kelly is not sick or in danger, he's upset. I'm going to get you to the tub first then I'll get him calmed down." Adalind didn't respond, but as she was fighting off more vomit that was not surprising.

Nick set her in the bathtub, grabbed the trashcan, placing it next to Adalind's head only for her to yank it close to her mouth and initiate another round of heaving. Once she was done Nick fitfully pulled off her clothes before turning on the water.

"I'm going to let you start to get cleaned up on your own while I check on Kelly. Will you be alright?" the alarmed man asked gently. Adalind nodded, still looking green but reaching for a washcloth all the same.

Shaken, Nick forced his body to relax before he lifted his son up, knowing the baby would be able to sense if he was upset. Tucked safe in his father's arms with the immediate sounds of Adalind's distress gone Kelly soothed quickly. Shortly allowing the still anxious man to place him in his swing.

Looking around the loft the Grimm could see that Adalind had clearly been concocting something major. There were herbs and strange mixtures littered all over the counter along with a variety of measuring tools. In addition several hexenbiest tomes were left open, a first aide kit, and a small knife with blood on it, which Nick supposed explained the blood on Adalind's hands.

Seeing Kelly taken care of Nick returned to Adalind. She had cleaned the vomit and blood from her face, hands, arms, and chest but still seemed to have some in her hair. Thankfully she appeared to be done throwing up, although the way she still shook and held her stomach let the detective know she was still in a lot of pain.

"Do you need some help with your hair?" Nick asked her gently. Adalind nodded mutely; this worried the detective as she was rarely so subdued and when she was it generally meant she was truly afraid.

After helping the blonde wash her hair Nick had to help her stand and lift her from the bathtub before leading her to the bed. Handing her a robe to wear he pulled a chair forward to the edge of the bed and wondered how to ask what was happening to her.

"Adalind…" he began. "What were you do—" but before he could ask any more the newly repowered hexenbiest began to sob. And Woge. She woged, sobbing, then returned to normal and began sobbing harder, clutching her stomach, scratching at her arms, her face, and woged again.

" _I tried!"_ the hexenbiest sobbed. "I tried to get rid of it! I wanted it _gone!"_ her voice tapered off with a hitch, unable to continue for a moment.

"Before I lost everything because I was human, and now I'll loose everything because I'm _not_!" once again she had to stop speaking, Adalind's whole body consumed by shaking. "And this time what I'll loose is worth so much _more_ than the lies I thought I had before! My selfishness and bitterness condemned my daughter to a lifetime of pain and uncertainty! Being hunted and used for her powers, like a _thing!_ Which is what she even was to _me_ when I first found out I was pregnant! Why I first got pregnant at all! And now that I know what I could have if I wasn't a hexenbiest, know what it is like to love some one worth loving, have a family and friends, I've lost it all! I've tried everything I could think of, every type of power suppressant, or blocker I could dream up over the past few weeks. And nothing works!" sobs rang through her small frame again as the witch buried her face in her hands following another woge.

Nick didn't know what to do. The entire situation was leaving him adrift. "Adalind—" he tried but honestly did not know what he would say next, only to be interrupted before the Grimm could think of anything.

"I got my old job back because I knew that I would have to be able to support myself now." She took a strengthening breath and continued, " Just, please, let me still be part of Kelly's life. I don't think, I don't…please—"

"You really think I would take him away from you don't you?" Nick asked her, unable to interpret the knot in his stomach.

"It's what I deserve."

" **No!"** he shook his head. "No it's _not_. You made mistakes, some pretty monumental, but you have never done anything to warrant that. You have been a great mother and I would _never_ take him away from you."

"You mean that?"

"Of course I do!"

Adalind breathed deeply. She seemed to be fighting off tears again. "Thank you." Was all she murmured.

"And you think I'll kick you out now? Because you are a hexenbiest again?" the Grimm continued.

She looked up at him surprised. "Of course." She stated. "I hoped you would let me continue to be a part of Kelly's life, you are a good man after all, but I have always known that if or when my hexenbiest came back this arrangement, this _relationship_ would automatically be over. Even if you could have some day accepted Juliette, you could never accept _me._ "

"Adalind…" as before Nick stopped, unsure what to say. He took a breath and continued. "Adalind, what happened between me and Juliette wasn't because she was a hexenbiest. Sure I mean things would have gone down differently if she hadn't become one. But the eventual result wasn't because she became a hexenbiest; it was because she gave up. Because she decided she no longer cared about me or our friends, that she only cared about the power being a hexenbiest gave her. It would have been hard to adjust, yes, but I could have adjusted if she was willing to work through it. I didn't always trust Renard, but at least at the time, we had a good working relationship. And overall my interactions with his mother Elizabeth were fairly positive. She helped me when she had no reason to, or got anything in return. But Juliette had always vacillated between hating the Wesen world and wanting to be a part of it. She wanted to take care of herself, to not rely on anyone. I admired her independence, but she never really wanted to be in a partnership; she wanted someone to put her needs first but to never have to be vulnerable or work with another. Once she became use to the idea of her powers I wasn't enough for her. She didn't need me anymore. She hated you because you had, unintentionally, changed her, attacked her; making her vulnerable. Additionally, because you spilt my loyalties. But _I_ was no longer important to her. She didn't want to figure it out. So she just gave up.

"We _can_ figure this out. I want to. And I'm not going anywhere if you're not. If you want to give us the chance to figure it out, well, I want you to give us that chance Adalind. I want this. I want you."

The hexenbiest looked at him with red-rimmed blue eyes.

"You really mean that, don't you" she stated.

"Yes I do"

A few more tears leaked from her eyes, but these were tears of relief and joy.

"I want you too." Nick sighed in relief. "You truly think you can accept me like this?" she briefly woged again, gauging his reaction.

"Honestly the hard part was accepting _you_ at all. After everything you had done, everything _we_ had done to each other. It was accepting you as a part of my life, that you _could_ change, let alone that you had, that was the hard part. I didn't suddenly change my mind about you the instant you became human, or the instant you told me you were pregnant with Kelly. It was a gradual process where I saw how you _wanted_ to change, and were doing everything you could to do so, and to accept _me._ That was how _I_ accepted _you_. The fact you are a hexenbiest again will take some getting use to. I don't think I'll be able to kiss you woged anytime soon. But who _you_ are, that _isn't_ changing. I will be able to accept you as a hexenbiest because I've already learned to accept _you_. You aren't letting your hexenbiest powers and instincts rule you, you are the same person you had grown to be before they came back. The person I am growing to love."

For the first time in weeks Adalind's face lit up with a smile. She seemed transformed. If such a thing were possible Nick would have said she woged into some supremely lovely being instead.

"You really _do_ mean it!" she smiled. "If you are truly willing we can figure it out. I'm sure of it. I want us to be a family. I want—wait kiss me woged? Where did you get that idea? Even most Wesen can't handle that sort of thing with a woged hexen or zauberbiest. Certainly not right away, why—wait. Did Juliette want…"

"Yeah, immediately after she told me she woged and said if I accepted her I would kiss her in her woged form. A part of me always felt guilty that I couldn't do it. Look past that to the person underneath."

Adalind grabbed his hand then. The first time she had initiated contact since he had found her. "I promise I wont rush you, as long as you are trying, that will be enough for me."

"And I promise I will try, I don't care if you get your powers back, as long as you stay the good person you are now. I can handle seeing you woge, I don't really mind it actually, and I'm fine with my friends. And I will get more comfortable with it."

He reached out with the hand Adalind wasn't holding and started to rub soothing circles on her arm. "I understood that this could happen, I admit I sort of forgot, but it isn't coming completely out of the blue either. I was mostly angry you didn't trust me. We need to be honest to make this work. I've learned _that_ lesson. I tried to keep becoming a Grimm from Juliette and it almost ruined our relationship, she kept becoming a hexenbiest from me and it ended it. Just be honest with me and I'll be honest with you."

Nick frowned, "I don't like how uncertain you are either. How little you value yourself. Back before, no matter what you were doing you were always confident. I hate that I've helped make you so anxious. I want you to know you have no reason to doubt; you are a wonderful woman and an amazing mother. And I am sorry it took me so long to see it, but that is my fault, not yours."

"Thank you." she softly replied. "I wont lie and say that things you did, or participated in, did not affect me. But my…reservations…are far more about Sean than you. I lost my powers and suddenly I was useless and he never cared about me. My mother did not even want me anymore. I went to him for help with our daughter and he lied to me, manipulated me, and treated me as if I was still useless except for giving him Diana. And he took her, traded her like a commodity and continued to lie about it! In Vienna before I got my powers back I could at least pretend I was still confident because I was of use to Eric. I had a goal. But everything just kept falling more and more apart. And I was never as poised as I made out. I needed the people I loved to love and respect me too, but they didn't."

"Well I do, you never need to worry about that again." another intense smile was his only reply but Adalind did look more at ease.

Nick was still filled with some rolling emotions, not least because he was never the type of person to talk much about his feelings, preferring actions to words, and this entire discussion was difficult for him. But he was also realizing that not only Adalind needed this but also he did too. Sometimes actions didn't speak louder than words, if others didn't understand the meaning behind the actions. He would have to remember this.

A few moments of silence passed as each thought about everything that had happened in less than an hour. They heard a giggle from Kelly who was still in his swing, both turning to look at their son with a soft smile.

The witch nodded thoughtfully and asked, "did Rosalee tell you about me?"

Nick grimaced. He didn't want to mess up the burgeoning friendship between Adalind and Rosalee, and he didn't feel like he should really get in the middle of this, but he had said he would be honest, so "yes, but don't be mad at her. Things were pretty hectic and she really felt I needed to know."

Adalind nodded again. "I am mad at her, but I can understand as well. And I wont be mad for much longer. I guess this whole thing would have been much more shocking if you hadn't been prepared for it. And you did need to know. I was just so scared of loosing Kelly and you, I couldn't bear it."

"You won't loose us Adalind. I promise. We are staying right here with you. We're a family now."

She gave him another blinding smile and Nick knew he had to follow up.

"I have something to tell you too."

"What?"

"Monroe and I did find something in Germany. A chest we were able to unlock with the keys we had. There was a strange stick wrapped up in an old cloth inside. Monroe had been injured in Germany but we didn't have time to get it treated before we came back to Portland. He started to collapse but when I steadied him while holding the stick his wound healed up instantly. We also investigated the cloth. There's all kinds of old symbols and writing on it but the only word we can make out is a term that means 'destroyer'.

"I didn't tell you, not because I didn't trust you exactly, but because I still felt confused about you and my feelings for you, and I felt like I _should_ distrust you. I felt guilty that I did trust you and want you to be part of this so soon. It was wrong. I'm sorry."

"I understand, I am mad at you, but I understand. We can be mad at each other for lying for a while but get over it together."

Nick grinned, "I like that plan"

Just then Kelly began to cry. Adalind started to get up but Nick stopped her.

"You need to rest. Whatever you did to yourself is clearly still affecting you. I can take care of our baby and clean up our fome. Just relax. Although," he smirked at the blonde "if you want to use your powers to lift a scrub brush while you are lying down I wont stop you."

Adalind laughed. "I don't think I have the control or precision to contribute anything meaningful to the clean up effort with my powers yet, it's get up and clean physically or rest. Sorry."

Nick just shrugged and picked up their son from the longest turn in his swing he had ever had.

Hearing Adalind give a little snort of laughter he looked back at the bed where she was half lying looking at them.

"What?"

"Nothing, just, you called this our fome."

Cradling their baby Nick gave her a loving smile. "Well, it is."


End file.
